Dear Depression...

Soon as you start having a good day... am I right?! Today was good for the most part. Didn’t sleep in. Was productive all day but still made time for myself. Had a good night at work and then BOOM! Suddenly there’s a lump in my throat like I swallowed a whole jar of peanut butter with no milk, my eyes are full of tears, and I’m just trying to keep it together. 

Good grief. Sometimes you wish you could just remove certain obstacles from you life. I don’t want to be facing this right now....

But I am! 

That gives me a tangible hope. I haven’t been running from doing the real work, disguised as self care. Not that self care isn’t critical the mission, because it very much so is. However, when it comes to healing in a real way that matters, it’s a “both/and” kind of thing. You can’t just chose either the real stuff or self care. You have to balance the equation. 

I’ve been super diligent with therapy, but I definitely need to throw in a little more self care. I had just been so focus on not just my healing, but that of the crew that was around me because it was a struggle bus year for everyone. But now it’s time to turn that love inwards. So that couples massage I booked to surprise the ex is now going to be for a dear friend who just recently divorced her husband. Good girlfriends sometimes you gotta remind those you see in a tough season to love on themselves too. 

Therapy is going to be good tomorrow.